I was invited to do a Spotlight Q&A with fellow author, Diamante Lavendar. I happily answered her questions. There were a couple that really had me thinking. I happily answered those as well.
A little about Diamante: She believes that everyone should try to leave their positive mark in the world, to make it a better place for all. Writing is the way that she is attempting to leave her mark—one story at a time. Her book, Breaking The Silence, is a triple award winner in the category of Inspirational Fiction. Kudos to her!
Below is an excerpt from our Q&A.
Interview with Elda:
1. Why did you decide to write this book?
I decided to write this book because infidelity has gone absolutely wild and I find it highly annoying, not to mention the associated chaotic upheaval. High profile people are continuously dropping left and right (it was also a point of contention during the recent presidential campaign), so you can imagine what’s happening in our backyards, and bedrooms. Infidelity is becoming normalized. Why? Why is this acceptable? Prevention is key, so I took to my keyboard, and started typing away.
Having been on both sides of the fence, I know the struggles —not pretty. There is much to be lost when adultery enters a committed relationship: emotionally, financially, and psychologically. Not to mention the possible extended mayhem: arson, dismemberment, murder – all real! This behavior affects everyone involved first-hand or not. Infidelity is a highly emotionally charged topic. Most people don’t realize there are various backstories involved, nor the scope of the fallout. I wanted to address infidelity prevention in a manner that would be easy to comprehend, and hopefully, make a difference.
2. What do you hope to accomplish through this book’s publication?
I hope that someone, anyone, will have at least one positive takeaway that can be applied to their life. A better understanding, eye-opening moments, and paying the good forward are also welcomed. I emphasize self-awareness, personal accountability, and growth. These aren’t easy subjects for people to acknowledge, but they are essential components for infidelity prevention.
When my ex-husband cheated on me, I chose to take a look at myself as well. His actions were definitely of his own doing, but I had to look at how I contributed to our disconnect on some level. It’s difficult for people to look at themselves, much less when they’ve been betrayed. I get that. However, I didn’t want to take unproductive patterns with me into a future relationship. And, I certainly wasn’t going to play the victim card. I wanted to get healthy. That’s what I wish for others, on a very large scale. My goal is not to eradicate infidelity, my mission is to bring awareness to this upsetting circumstance and do some educating while I’m at it. I’d like to switch up legislature too. I have a very long to-do list!
3. Do you have any other published work?
So far, this is my only book. At some point, I’d like to do a broader version (are you listening lit. agents?). I’ve learned a tremendous amount during this whole process. I consider myself to be nonjudgmental, but I’ve had to continuously push back my boundaries to accommodate someone’s else’s reality with infidelity. It’s an enormous subject with just as many tangents. There’s still tons of work to do. My particular plate is always full. I’ve been known to have a hearty appetite.
4. What is one surprising fact you’d like your readers to know about you?
A million years ago in college, I studied abroad at the University of Copenhagen, Denmark. It remains as one of the best experiences of my life. It’s a lovely country. I lived with a Danish family with whom I’m still in contact and we’ve also exchanged visits. They truly are an extension of my immediate family. Also, I flunked out of two classes due to my love of travel. Hey, life experience is just as important as book experience! Luckily, I had enough credits so it didn’t make a marked difference. Besides, what I gained overall was priceless.
5. If you could fulfill one wish in life, what would it be?
One wish? That all my wishes will be fulfilled. I’m getting closer!