I’ve been wondering why infidelity elicits such fearful emotions. I guess it would appear obvious, but it goes deeper than the fact you could lose your mate, children, home, finances, etc. Of course, that’s enough to keep anyone awake at night and all the more reason not to engage. But, I think the greatest fear is loss of self. There are those who look for signs of infidelity in a mate around every corner with the intent of trying to keep it bay, which only serves to create more issues and tension within the relationship–and in turn may in fact lead the mate to commit an act of infidelity that he/she had never considered in the first place! Big problem.
When self-esteem is at a healthy place there isn’t the need to be suspicious and on guard. There isn’t the need for fear that fosters so many negative side effects. We all try to find our place within relationships. Sometimes we’re successful, other times not. We’re usually doing our best, when we’re at our best. When we are secure with our own unique self. When we’re not dependent on our mate to define who we are or “should” be. When we’ve allowed personal growth to shape and guide us. This doesn’t guarantee that infidelity won’t enter the home, but the advantage of knowing thyself will undoubtedly help with any work ahead. Expend energy becoming self sufficient, not self-defeating. And, then, fear not.