I came across this article at Maley Investigations, A Private Detective Agency. I imagine they’ve had plenty of experience in the area of infidelity. Since this is the season for such shenanigans, I thought I’d pass it along. Do yourself a favor and avoid holiday (emotional) debt of the worst kind. Seriously consider being nice, not naughty.
Holiday Affairs
The holiday season brings heaps of things we really don’t want or need. Stress, exhaustion, arguments, and of course the “impossible to please” people. There is also something unexpected that comes with this holiday season of peace on earth and goodwill to all — the ‘holiday affair.’
Holidays seem to be the time of year when being unfaithful occurs more often. If the year has been good for you, you’re likely to feel good about the holidays. However, if the year has been difficult and unsatisfying (especially in terms of career or finances) the holiday season seems to make matters worse. Everywhere you look you see happy people, glitzy commercials, and smiling faces, but you feel left out and miserably unhappy. Couples may see the fun they’re supposed to have during this time of year not happening in their own household. The holidays often remind people of what’s missing in their lives and in their relationships. The unhappy partner may want to experience holiday cheer by opening themselves up to any possibility. Celebrating with an attractive co-worker or friend feels exciting. The end result: a flirtatious moment at a holiday party that turns into a mini affair.
A study on holiday depression from Bowdoin University reports that 56% of men and 42% of women will cheat on their partners during the holiday season. The study also goes on to report that once the holiday season ends, so does the affair with most partners never knowing their spouse has strayed.
Similar to most ongoing infidelities, the holiday affair is not simply about sex. With infidelity, you feel you receive what you’ve been missing in your primary relationship: you feel appreciated, you feel needed, and feel loved. The attraction is not purely physical or emotional; it’s a validation of self-esteem and self-worth. The added mood of the holiday season brings temporary feelings of being included in the festivities. You feel like you matter.
Unlike happy holiday movies and television shows, real-life and relationships can suffer during this time of spending and shopping frenzies. The notion that you are supposed to have fun and be surrounded by loving, joyful family, friends, and expensive gifts is a media-dictated myth. Often feelings of loneliness and sadness over what you don’t have, leads some to make the decision to cheat. And unfortunately, it seems that the holiday affair is becoming an unwelcome tradition.
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