Questions for Cathy #8: Best Way to Handle a Serial Cheater?

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Being with a serial cheater can be a roller coaster ride. So what do you do? Trust, not trust? Try, not try? Move forward, only to get slammed back? Cathy Chambliss, my resident LMFT, gave her professional response and it’s undeniably eye-opening.

EML: What is a reasonable course of action if a mate has proven to be a serial cheater?

Cathy: A reasonable course of action for a serial cheater is to get out of the relationship. This is a person that does not take monogamy seriously. It is also a possibility that you are dealing with a narcissist. If someone is a true narcissist, they have no empathy for others and are completely focused on their own needs for adoration and praise. Someone like this will never change and it is unhealthy to be in a relationship with them. However, someone that has cheated one time can learn from their mistakes and through good couple’s counseling, you can have a better and healthier relationship. 


We’ve all had our fair share of yo-yo relationships, but this is a whole other deal. Don’t get caught up in: “But I really love him/her,”  “I’ll never find someone to love me again” or I’ll give him/her one more chance” – five chances later. No bueno, at least not in this case. Keep your head about you when serial cheating enters your relationship. It’s not an issue that is easily remedied, if at all. I wasn’t aware that narcissism could be so ingrained and inflexible. Proving once again, there’s always something new to learn, right?

*(Cathy’s contact info can be found on my Resource page. She’s always ready to help!)


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