Okay, this is a really big question. Although it may seem obvious on some level, I felt the need to inquire anyway. It seems to me, being with someone who refuses to go to therapy would pose a very difficult challenge. Why not get aid for a stressful situation? The consequences could be much worse if help is denied.
EML: Why Do Men Resist Therapy?
Cathy: Many men resist therapy because in session we often talk about feelings. That can feel like a foreign language to men. They become overwhelmed by seeing their wives or partners crying, or angry, in a couple’s session, and don’t know how to “fix it”. Men often approach problems with logic and rational thinking. Emotions are not always logical or rational. Men like to find solutions to problems, while women often just want to be heard and have their feelings validated. It’s the therapist’s job to understand men and illustrate how different they are from women, and to teach both partners how to relate to each other. I often find that men get a lot out of therapy once they give it a chance and see that their perspective is also heard and validated.
Yes, to all of the above, not to mention the fact men are not broadly taught about emotional intelligence. Innately men are different, but they are still emotional creatures. Unfortunately, most don’t know how to express the emotional side of themselves effectively, possibly due to societal, familial, or religious conditioning.
Big changes are needed there. Men and their relationships would benefit greatly. Something worth paying for, and paying forward.
*(Find Cathy’s contact info on my Resource page)