Welcome, February! The month of big love. Cupid does his best to aim his arrow steady and strong into the hearts of couples yearning for enchantment. Sounds good, but what’s behind the curtain? Let’s take a peek past the rosy, anticipatory glow, shall we? We tend to get caught up in the fantasy of love on the 14th: roses, chocolate, bling, candlelight dinners, dewy eyes, whispered sweet nothings, fancy sheets; renewed love with copious amounts of verve. Beautiful, lovely displays of romance. We’re offered one special day to show how much we are devoted to our beloved. Great. Wonderful. The days following? The roses are tired and wilted, the chocolate has been replaced with a pound of guilt, dewy eyes are now just a watery allergic reaction to pollen, and the sweet – what things? Exactly; no memory recall.
It’s unrealistic to think that love in its best form will be able to sustain itself day in and day out, but it’s not unrealistic to be mindful of keeping the barometer of your relationship from dipping and climbing unnecessarily. Newsflash – the day after Valentine’s Day is a major infidelity day. Why? People’s high expectations weren’t met. Didn’t get what you were hoping for? Screw him/her! Rebounding you wind up recklessly doing that to someone else, and ultimately yourself in the process. We want the perfect gift and experience. We want our mate to read our mind and know specifically what will make our heart go pitter patter. After all, we’ve dropped a million hints, what’s not to get? He/she should be paying attention and absolutely get it. We want to matter that much to someone.
Unfortunately, you’re setting yourself up for huge disappointment and disaster with that mindset. It takes the “every day” workings of a relationship to feed into the special moments. You can’t have one without the other. That’s not to say you can’t be upset if you’ve had a specific conversation about V-Day and your mate changes the rules, for the worse, without your knowledge. Disrespecting and lack of communication are never a win. I once had a boyfriend who said Valentine’s Day was just another day and that love should be celebrated each and every day. Nice sentiment, and a bit of a cop-out. His delivery never quite matched his words.
So, instead of celebrating the 14th by trying to make up for the other three hundred and sixty four days, thereby creating a definite fauxmance, how ’bout bringing your best love to the table by having an open discussion about the possibilities of continuing to show care and devotion in a way that suits each of you?
A caring, respectful relationship: best gift ever.
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